My journey to recovery

Me posing with different styled wigs

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

I WAS diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer last Sept. 12 and to say that it was a complete turnaround for me would be an understatement. 

The diagnosis came 15 days before the Philippines observes Breast Cancer Awareness Month this October and about seven years after I had surgery on the same breast. 

A benign cyst was removed from that area at that time and it looked as if the cancer cells positioned themselves in that same spot. For two days I had to grapple both physically and emotionally the diagnosis on my condition.

I was on denial and I thought maybe the results were wrong. How can that be when I felt healthy. I did my own self-breast examination and I did feel the lump and not the scar tissue  anymore. 

Then I accepted the fact that the pathology report on my condition is true. How could it be wrong when two pathologists concurred with the findings?

In my case when I was called to a conference with the doctor who did the biopsy I sensed that something was wrong. Common sense dictates that when nothing is wrong, the result of the mammogram would be mailed. 

It was quite a difficult moment for the four of us in a table—myself and Ronnie, the doctor and the nurse navigator. When something like this happens, the doctor would not immediately tell the result and the usual preliminaries were made before the bad news is given. 

Then the doctor gave the result and it was Ron who broke down, not me since I am strong. After the emotional upheaval, the nurse navigator lost no time in discussing her role, the result of the biopsy, the disease, treatments, costs and the chances of recovery from breast cancer.

I forgot I was at Novant Health Breast Center Huntersville. The nurse navigator is in charge of explaining the details of the patient's condition and contacting the primary doctor, the breast surgeon and the oncologist. 

Everything was in motion.   I met the breast surgeon two days after and he examined me again and discussed the treatment and future plans. The breast surgeon Dr.Ilan Avin is very soft spoken when he explained the details. And I told myself I am in good hands.

He explained that in my case chemotherapy  would work best prior to surgery. The goal is to shrink the tumor. A week after I underwent the first surgery  for the port insertion. 
It is my understanding  that the port insertion is sort of a compartment where a needle is inserted during the chemotherapy. The device is surgically inserted under the skin in my upper chest. 

Now I have a bump under my skin and sometimes I forgot about it when I sleep. My arms and chest also felt heavy. Maybe it was a reminder that I have breast cancer. 

The doctor then proceeded to order for the breast bilateral MRI (magnetic resonance imaging), NM injection, CT chest, abdomen, pelvis and bone scans.  

In every procedure I underwent different experiences. The brain MRI tested my endurance during which my head was unable to move. I chose regular jazz music to help soothe my anxiety while the machine worked itself on me. 

The noise the machine made is comparable to hearing workers cut timber and the noise of an incoming train. My endurance was tested anew when I was made to lie face down for my breast MRT. 

I couldn't move too much and the jazz music didn't help much. So I shifted my attention to the sounds made by the machine and sure enough, I heard a nurse telling me to “hang on” for seven more minutes which was an eternity for me.

The CT for my abdomen, pelvis and chest were bearable as I was inside a machine with the company name Siemins (must be built by the previous company that my son-in-law Simon Boddison worked in). 

Anyway it was easy since I was only made to“ breathe and hold it” for a few seconds. The best part for the medical examination on me was the bone scan in which my hands and feet were strapped on and I dozed off from thinking too much. 

It’s been a tough 12 days for me emotionally and physically. It was also during this time that I changed my lifestyle and am now eating a lot of plant based food. 

I have enough supply of vegetables from Beth Kremer, Doreen Reynolds, Dalangin Wheeler and Joan Lighte. Ng Lydia Burdeos also made sure that I have enough supply of turmeric and ginger juice or liquid with the mother of Yulie Armstrong cooking all foods that I could eat for one month.

I thank also other friends who would be checking up on my condition every now and then. I appreciate it Lynn Lorenzo-Polk, Rogelio Lawsin and baby cousin Maria Jovie Pagsuguiron.  

All this time my family in the Philippines, New Zealand, the UK and US  started with the prayer brigade and extending moral support far and near.  At first I didn’t tell my daughter Honey, Janice and GG as I don’t want them to worry. 

But I summoned enough courage to tell them the truth so they would be forewarned about my condition. 

My daughter Janice Baesas was into research mode and had been sending me links on cancer research. I told her not to worry but she said “cancer is still cancer.”

What is funny is Ronnie and I had a reversal of roles- he is now taking care of me instead of me taking care of him and all the time showing me love and care and I am forever grateful to him for this. 

This journey has just started and I want to share to others who are similarly situated in order to think positive and keep the faith always. 

After all breast cancer is not a death sentence. Maybe breast cancer would save my life as I would be taking care of myself from now on. 

To all women, get up and be a proactive patient. Have that yearly mammogram and conduct a breast exam on yourself.  

And to paraphrase breast cancer author Judy Kneece, “there may be scars on my chest but may there not be scars on my heart.”