Stories of my mother

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

The two weeks I spent in my birthplace of Tagoloan town, Misamis Oriental in northern Mindanao, Philippines was a reunion with my ailing father, whom I haven't visited for five years.

He might be boney and fragile but my Tatay (father) Simeon Barros Naelga's mind is as clear as the skies. During those few precious days with him I recorded all our conversations to serve as posterity for me. 

One of those topics we discussed was about his late wife, my mother Loreta “Lily” Ejem Espellarga Naelga. Sorry Nay (mother), we were talking behind your back--he said he was just stating facts about you now that you are gone.

He had no fears of retaliation from Nanay because she was six feet below ground. But trust me, my tatay's recollection of my Nanay was told with gentleness and love. I would see a tear or two drop from his eyes. 

It was not a straight recording I stopped twice for him to compose himself. Today, July 27th, is her 10th death anniversary today and she is always remembered by those she left behind. 

Nanay (Mother) took time to learn something especially if it has something to do with electricity and technology. She learned about it with my father's help but still scared if it is a new thing. 

There are exceptions of course and there are some things she didn't learn. The more I thought about it, it could be that her genes influenced my choices because there are some things I didn't push through like driving which I chickened out of.

Anyway I recalled the stories my father told me about her. One of these stories is my mother not learning to look at time. My father said he and Nanay were taught by the American Peace Corps how to read time. 

My father knew the difference between pocket watch, wrist watch, wall clock and table clock. The problem lies in my mother unable to memorize the Roman numeral equivalents to number 5 to 10 which is V to X.

We all know that V to X means adding I to V like VI or six and so on. This was too much for my mother, who knows only the Roman numeral equivalent from 1 to 5 or I to V.  

When she worked at the cannery at the former Philippine Packing Corp., now known as Del Monte Philippines, he bought a table clock with an alarm. He set the alarm before he goes to sleep and the problem came when he slept.

Tired after finishing the 2 a.m. work-shift, he would be roused from sleep by mama after the alarm went off. Since the alarm clock is set in Roman numerals she doesn't know the time so she wakes him and asks him what time it is.

He taught her how to set the alarm but she wouldn't budge because she was scared that she would break it if she set the time. To solve the problem, he asked that they work on the same shift and their employers agreed.

The second story involves my mother's fear of appliances that run on electricity. It's okay if it was battery powered but if it runs on electricity, she won't operate it. 

She doesn't have a problem with the refrigerator because it's always plugged in. The problem lies in the TV, stereo and others which usually involves unplugging it whenever there's a brownout and plugging it back in.  

When the appliances malfunction, she's not the primary suspect because of her fear of appliances. My mother was a simple woman who prefers to be left alone with her plants and laundry. 

Never one to complain, she is always proud of her children. Cooking wasn't her forte but she can do the laundry. She can cook rice without “dukot (burnt)” but she cannot cook any viand except stewed fish roe or ”inon-on.” 

One more thing, my mother has the most beautiful handwriting I have seen. She writes with dedication on a piece of paper that I noticed in my younger days. 

She might lose an argument with my father with people around since she is a believer of the old adage “respect me in the road, kill me in the house (respitahi ko sa gawas puede nan a patya sa balay) but trust me when in the house, my father would lose the argument. 

She was the winner. Yes it's been 10 years since she left us but her memory is still fresh to my mind especially the time when her seven children was on her bedside as she breathed her last. My father was outside her room at the time.

One thing I'm sure of is that she does not want to be buried alongside my father to which my father already made an oral will that he would like to be buried beside his mother at Sta.Ana cemetery. 

I guess it would be too much and too loud for the neighbors if they are together,  but don’t get me wrong they sure love each other.  My father is still a bachelor 10 years after her death.  

My sister Betty Alombro who's now based in Auckland, New Zealand told me the other day that there is a Filipino belief that on the 10th year of death the departed would be far away from their loved ones. 

That's sad because nobody would be guiding us anymore. How true that belief is I don’t know. She appeared in my dreams on several occasions and I knew it was her.  

We all love her to death and we hope she will still guide us until it is also time for us to leave this world.

(Susan Palmes-Dennis is a veteran journalist from Cagayan de Oro City, Misamis Oriental, Northern Mindanao in the Philippines who worked as a nanny and is now employed as  teacher assistant in one of the school systems in the Carolinas.

Read her blogs on susanpalmesstraightfrom the Carolinas.com and at http://www.blogher.com/myprofile/spdennis54. These and other articles also appear at http://www.sunstar.com.ph/author/2582/susan-palmes-dennis.
You can also connect with her through her Pinterest account at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/41025046580074350/) and https://www.facebook.com/pages/Straight-from-the-Carolinas-/494156950678063)