“Married couples who love each other say a thousand things without talking.”
-Chinese proverb Today, May 20, is my fifth wedding anniversary. I thought about whether it is appropriate to write and publish this since this may not be the right place to do so. Then again I answered my own question; if I can write about others why not write about myself and Ronnie? In short it is the “I’m going to write anything I please” day. We were married in a simple ceremony in Gatlingburg, Tennessee. The place was romantic and lovely, almost like you're visiting another world. Gatlingburg is the wedding capital of the Carolinas and in fact, the US.
The ambiance was perfect and simple. It was simple because there were only four of us: we, the officiating pastor and the assistant. The chapel was located atop a semi-elevated land where the car can only park at a certain area on the plain level and the people who wish to reach atop have to walk. It was adorned with all the beautiful flowers that one can imagine the garden of Eden in books and illustrations. The shrubs and trees were manicured and maintained. The pathway was clean and everything on it is really designed for that beautiful “aha moment.” I was panting as I walked since I wore heels. It wasn't an easy walk because even Ronnie took sometime to move. Eventually we reached the top. Looking back I likened it to the walk we had for the five years that we have been married. Never been easy, there were good days and rough days but mostly there are happy moments shared by two adults who pledged to stay together for the days of our lives.
I was reminded of that saying either from a movie or from a book I read. Maybe it was sort of my “East, West, North and South,” that I read on my Sunday rest or during breaks on my weekdays. I recall that it was said during the movie “Four Weddings and a Funeral” by Hugh Grant. We have our good times and bad times in five years and I have to write this so you know our story. We have known each other for two years online before he went to visit me in the Philippines. That time he posted along with his good looking picture a Bible and a big pot while he stirred whatever it was inside the pot. My thinking was that with the Bible I am sure we'll be sharing our time in church which I do love much and with the pot, he will make sure that my tummy would always be full thus my life would be secured. Indeed it was a good sign for me. A Bible and a pot. To me, it represents the spiritual and the earthly matters. So far so good for me. I don’t know with him (lol).
But since we've spent five years together I have to tell you five things why I am still in love with my ex-boyfriend Ronnie Dennis.
1. He's stingy. Now he stops giving me gifts on Mother’s Day. His reason “You are not my mother.” We discussed this since I was appalled. “Are you kidding me” He was philosophical about it and for all intents he is right. You only give gifts to your mother on Mother’s Day. Of course he is wrong with his reasoning but I find this funny that I'm not annoyed at him for not giving me gifts on the most important day for women mothers or not. Despite this I love this man. 2. He is argumentative to be polite about it. He argues with me but he has learned his lesson well that he stops arguing with me anymore. He never wins anyway. At first he is on the winning side but before the day is over he is losing that eventually and I would show that he lost the battle anyway. I told him not to start a battle that he can't win. But there are times that his arguments are valid that I let him win or I compromise. His worst enemy is his mouth either directed at me or to anyone else.
This is actually related to # 2. Still I am learning how to tame his tongue. But he is improving, his tongue is becoming dry most of the time. Reason: I told him I would get a big needle and sew it. Despite this I love this man. 3. He is morbid as he loves his prepared obituary. Yes it is true he made his obituary already, he has his own crypt fully paid. And I don’t discuss with him especially if it is on Friday. He is excited about it. Yes it is ready and the only thing missing is his body. In fact he asked me to join him but I told him already if he dies ahead of me I am going home to the Philippines. Despite his love for death I love this man. 4. He is funny. When he talks to me I usually answer him- he claims that his brain is frozen but when I answered it is defrosted. It happens to us many times and it makes this marriage interesting. These are among the five reasons why I love the man I married. 5.He is generous and his heart is made of soft tissues that even if he doesn't have it, when something is needed I trust that he would deliver. And these generosities include my family I left behind and even to our friends. Our marriage is not that perfect, we have personal issues, or with the family. We have our share of struggles, health concerns and we have these illnesses but we have learned to compromise. We promised to stay in love and we will have so many more years together. As long as we have God and we dedicate to honor God all days in our life then we would be okay. Love you Ronnie Dennis and happy five.
(Susan Palmes-Dennis is a veteran journalist from Cagayan de Oro City, Misamis Oriental, Northern Mindanao in the Philippines who worked as a nanny and is now employed as a sub-teacher and a part-time teacher assistant in one of the school systems in the Carolinas. Read her blogs on susanpalmesstraightfrom the Carolinas.com and at http://www.blogher.com/myprofile/spdennis54. These and other articles also appear at http://www.sunstar.com.ph/author/2582/susan-palmes-dennis. You can also connect with her through her Pinterest account at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/41025046580074350/) and https://www.facebook.com/pages/Straight-from-the-Carolinas-/494156950678063)
by Susan Palmes-Dennis My favorite memory of my mother (Nanay in Filipino) is her love for plants and flowers. Writing is to me as taking care of a plant is to her. And my story tells how her love of plants made me cry and how she would poke fun whenever I do. I am the eldest in a brood of seven children to working parents. Back in the days in my country of birth (and I hope it still is the norm despite these changing times) much was expected of me. Expectations in fact are an understatement concerning the obligation and duties that my parents entrusted to me while they were out. For now, I'll be talking about my being a little mother or nanay. Being the little “nanay” in their absence, I would assume the duties every mother is bestowed with upon having a family. While I revert to being a child whenever they are around, like every dutiful daughter I would assume the “mother hen” role for the most part. I may forget to mention that if I have to do it again I should have done better for my siblings. Anyway, according to them this is my story of my mother and her plants. My Nanay is Loreta Ejem-Espelalrga Naelga, Lily for short and she loved plants among others aside from cleaning the house. I guess taking care of her plants is a stress reliever. I didn’t hear her sing to the plants but I did hear her saying” pamulak na (Bloom now).” In those days, mothers are just confined to their homes when not working. There was no aromatherapy or sports wasn't a fad at the time when she goes home after working at Philippine Packing Corp. (now Del Monte Philippines). Recalling only groups in the church or at the Puericulture Center with Iya Ipoy (what’s her last name, Iya Ipoy?), my mother listens to the radio in the morning and her favorite programs feature stars like Diego Salvador or Melodina at Night Time while cultivating her flowers, pulling out the weeds around the pot or plot and talk to her plants. Sometimes she'd wipe away the dirt on the leaves. She got all kinds of cacti in big and small pots, begonias, ferns, roses and wildflowers as well as bougainvilleas. The plants were arranged based on what plant she thought needed the most sunlight or water. There was no Google that time, the only way she cared for her plants was through common sense and she had a lot of it. Her plants were given or bought and later she swapped plants with others. Yes, some plants were bought but most of the time it was exchanged with friends who also have their own plants. Every payday on the 5th and 20th of the month, she would have new plants. At first it was nothing to me. Here is the thing- if she had first shift and that would be 6 am to 3 p.m., unless there is overtime I would see her coming home either from the corner of Iyo Glen Gamber's house or at Iya Pamie Valdehuesa's home and I would see her hands are full and even from afar I know she's holding plants or pots. Even at a young age I know what barter was all about. She usually did this, bartering plants with Iya Oling Santander, Iyo Gorio Cabunoc and Tiay Gingging Dagus. This is how it works: If Nanay had this cactus which Iya Oling doesn't have then my mother would give her cactus in exchange for one plant she doesn't have. Then there was the onset of her love for orchids. Gosh, it wasn't not only water and pots (plastic pots weren't discovered yet and if it was, it was made in China and it did not reach us yet) that were the problems, but the coconut husk. We have to shred a lot of coconut strips to get the husk that would be used for the orchids. The orchids would be placed on the coconut husk. Her love of plants was her therapy for life's struggles. She would be so engrossed with her plants especially when my father is too busy or resting. If she is still around this time I would buy all the plants she would like to have, including the pots, soil and vegetables. That was among the memories I had of living with her and if I had the chance to live another life with her, I would gladly water all her plants again even if her garden circles the world. I miss you Nanay. What about you, what is your favorite memory of your mother? Add yours in the comments below. Thanks for reading and Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers and mothers-to-be out there. (Susan Palmes-Dennis is a veteran journalist from Cagayan de Oro City, Misamis Oriental, Northern Mindanao in the Philippines who worked as a nanny and is now employed teacher assistant in one of the school systems in the Carolinas. Read her blogs on susanpalmesstraightfrom the Carolinas.com and at http://www.blogher.com/myprofile/spdennis54. These and other articles also appear at http://www.sunstar.com.ph/author/2582/susan-palmes-dennis. You can also connect with her through her Pinterest account at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/41025046580074350/) and https://www.facebook.com/pages/Straight-from-the-Carolinas-/494156950678063)
