Remembering the dead

Tagoloan town Catholic cemetery. Photo by Jong Cass

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

WHEN November comes around, my mind usually wanders back to my home country of the Philippines where we observe the annual All Saints Day and All Souls Day.

It is that time of the year when most people in the cities and provinces would go home to visit the graves of their departed loved ones. 

Over the years, it has become some kind of a family affair, a time off from our busy lives to remember our dearly departed.

Growing up in Tagoloan town in Misamis Oriental, northern Mindanao in the Philippines, I look forward to “Kalag-Kalag”  because that’s when we have food like adobo (meat stew), fried chicken,  puto (rice cake),  biko (sweetened sticky rice) or sotanghon (rice noodles) and visitors either in the house or new relatives that you don’t know then meet at the cemetery. 

It’s also the time when we gather flowers and ferns when they are abundant then make a wreath or arrange for the grave.

Prayer leader
Candles come in sizes and colors. I don’t’ know if the size of the candles has something to do with the sins or imperfections of the dead. I have no idea then that time.

During those times since my paternal grandmother Consolacion Barros was buried at Sta. Ana,Tagoloan town, the family decided to pay respects to her grave. 

Then other dead relatives would have one candle each. I recall passenger jeepneys are always full that we end up walking to Sta. Ana and then walking all the way home. 

Whenever we visit the cemetery at Sta. Ana, we recite the prayer of the dead with whoever is the prayer leader. Good for us that my aunt Julia Naelga Laluna was the prayer leader.

It is hard to find prayer leaders around this time since everyone is in need of one. This kind of work is hard because it requires a lot of kneeling and memorizing. 

Litany
I think the popular prayer leaders in Tagoloan town as far as I can remember are “Iya Tida” which I think she passed on to Nang Sima, Lola Eging Ejem-Casino, Betty Sanches and Nang Aldie Mariano. 

Of the new generation, we have the sister of Femia Dalapag and more, whose names I’m not familiar with.

Whenever I’m at the cemetery I look at the tombstones (lapida). At Sta.Ana, I see the last names as Naelga, Adis, Neri, dela Rosa, Emata, Ragandang, Ellos, Escabarte and so many others. 

Then I would usually make a quick estimate of their ages and compare it from one tomb to another. 

After a long litany of prayers via the rosary and the long lists of the dead we end up stopping by the house of Tiay Norma Naelga Adis where we ate “biko” or drink “botong” (coconut water) then it would be a long talk with the relatives. 

Full moon
The visit would be over usually at or before 3 pm, then we leave and make our way to Mojon,Tagoloan where we met other relatives also walking towards Sta.Ana.

Back then, it would be a mortal sin if we don’t pass by the house of the brother of my paternal grandfather Ignacio Naelga.  We would then eat another round of biko and adobo until my tummy hurts. 

Usually it is my aunt Vicky Pagsuguiron who would be the center of attention as 
she was the first teacher of the Naelga clan and I was just the buddy. But I think that moment made me realize how important it is to have a degree. 

That was the time when I think I was in Grade 5. From Mojon we walked to Tagoloan proper and we would be lucky if it’s a full moon. It’s good to ask by that time then since there are no jeepneys. 

By the time you walk you don’t have to worry about being hit with a face full of dust.  The following day, All Souls Day, would be devoted for the souls of loved ones buried at Tagoloan cemetery. 

Gap
This is the time when you met a lot of relatives introduced by relatives that you have to take their hands and say “amen” to show respect and be blessed. These greetings seem endless.

Prayers would be long and I think it’s the time when the person leading the nine day novena would have a lot of work to do. I wondered before if the prayers went on too long that the list of the dead loved ones were long too. 

That time I was already surprised why biko, Royal True Orange (orange soda) and egg and sometimes Fighter Wine are placed on top of the grave . I also wondered who gets to eat the food. 

I knew somebody would because the Fighter Wine is gone the following day. There’s still so much to tell during All Souls Day and All Saints Day. But one thing is sure, all those buried in the cemetery are dead. 

Through the years I’ve realized also that even in death there is still that gap between the rich and the poor. 

The rich have big lots and big roofs while those who couldn’t afford get some space to bury their dead six feet below the ground. But all of them are dead, rotting inside their tombs with just skulls and bones as a reminder of their existence.

Remembering these makes me realize how short our lives are here on Earth. It is as short as the dash placed in between the dates of birth and dates of death.

Photo by Sueng Caballero

(Susan Palmes-Dennis is a veteran journalist from Cagayan de Oro City, Misamis Oriental, Northern Mindanao in the Philippines who worked as a nanny and is now employed as a sub-teacher and a part-time teacher assistant in one of the school systems in the Carolinas.
Read her blogs on susanpalmesstraightfrom the Carolinas.com and at http://www.blogher.com/myprofile/spdennis54. These and other articles also appear at http://www.sunstar.com.ph/author/2582/susan-palmes-dennis.
You can also connect with her through her Pinterest account at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/41025046580074350/) and https://www.facebook.com/pages/Straight-from-the-Carolinas-/494156950678063)

Paris memories, classes and borrowing Nicholas Sparks

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

There will be people you meet in your life that make imprints on you almost on first immediate contact and they remain in your memories through the days of your life.

I call these special moments changing impressions. Persons we met most of the time defined our character and teach us how to adapt to life. For me there are only a few people that leave such imprints and make life worth living.

I also call these situations as life’s moments. I work as a sub-teacher here at the Carolinas in one of the biggest school systems in the US. As a sub you work in the elementary grades, middle or high school and there are no specific assignments.

It depends on who needs your services in a day. Unless you get lucky you get assigned to one school for a variety of reasons. If it's different schools everyday the challenges are great because you never know what would happen.

But you would always meet new acquaintances and a new environment The disadvantage is on adjusting because you don’t know the place.

Memories of Paris

If you get multiple assignments in one school you would be familiar with the school and the people and you get a sense of belonging. You know what I am saying.

All schools I’ve been assigned to are all great. In one high school (never mind the name I don’t know if there are restrictions) I’ve met a few caring and nice people that make my assignment inspiring.

It was last week when I got this assignment where a male teacher in his middle thirties would always have a smile for me while standing on the front of the classroom as we each greet the students every period.

Later he would check on me if everything was fine and how the class went along.  He shared inputs about the class as relayed by the absent teacher and would give his opinion about it.

I learened that he is French and teaches French as a subject. Mere mention of France brought some memories in a different time when I was in Paris. The teacher's name is Fresse Fabrice.

Fine job

Another teacher in the same school but in a different building is Teacher Nikki Stanton. She's also in her thirties, I think. She has this big voice that she is very effective on sweeping students to classes.

We know that students would rather stay outside if allowed to loiter before class so the school instructed teachers to always be at the hallway reminding/sweeping students to their respective classes.

Ms. Stanton is doing such a fine job sweeping students to the classrooms that just seeing her in the hallway would make students head straight to their classes.

Even while calling out students, she always finds time to call me once she sees me coming. I’ve been assigned to her class several times in the past.

I was then an EC assistant on her class but she would never forget my presence and would engage me in class discussion. At that time I was assigned to her science class and the topic was about the environment.

Museum

Since then she would always check on me also if she sees me at the corridors.

There are many others who are as caring as Ms. Stanton and Signor Fabrice. I would probably write about them in the next blog.

Wait, I still have another recollection. This time it's not a teacher but a lovely woman assigned at the school library. By the way the library is so huge and houses my favorite things called books.

That library I frequent looks like a museum of information and learning. Indeed a place where a brain is put to work if one is interested in absorbing the information and learning from the books.

It was during my planning period that I headed to the library to see what they have in store. My eyes flew to a table near the front row where books are placed vertically, making it easy to read the titles.

The heading says new arrival and one name stood out, author Nicholas Sparks whose book was “The Longest Ride”, one of my favorites. As you can see he became my favorite ever since I stopped reading hard books.

Serene, cool

At my age books of Mr. Sparks qualifies as romantic for me. I think I told you that years before I always equate North Carolina to Nicholas Sparks. He lives here and most of his book settings are located here in Tar Heels.

Now back to that lovely woman. Her serene and cool appearance gave me the courage to approach her. She immediately asked “yes can I help you?”

“I was just wondering if a sub teacher can borrow a book,” I said. She explained that since a sub isn't integrated in the system it would be hard. Next thing she asked “Are you assigned permanently?”

I told her no but said “I work here almost every week and right now I would be here until Friday (it was Tuesday when I talked to her).” Without batting an eyelash, she said why not?

I asked her if she had a copy of the Asian Herald and she said yes. I told her I write for that publication and she need not worry about me losing the Nicholas Sparks book or damaging it.

I borrowed the book on a Tuesday and finished it on Thursday. By the way, the female librarian is named Elaine Anderson.

There are still many people I met and I would share to you my experience meeting them. For now I end this story with the hope that it would be the start of a journal of sorts about my journey as a sub-teacher in the schools here in the Carolinas.

(Susan Palmes-Dennis is a veteran journalist from Cagayan de Oro City, Misamis Oriental, Northern Mindanao in the Philippines who worked as a nanny and is now employed as a sub-teacher and a part-time teacher assistant in one of the school systems in the Carolinas.

Read her blogs on susanpalmesstraightfrom the Carolinas.com and at http://www.blogher.com/myprofile/spdennis54. These and other articles also appear at http://www.sunstar.com.ph/author/2582/susan-palmes-dennis.

You can also connect with her through her Pinterest account at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/41025046580074350/) and https://www.facebook.com/pages/Straight-from-the-Carolinas-/494156950678063)